Mental Awareness for Women Part One

This is something that has been on my mind for the longest. I feel like this is a battle that black women, all women but mostly for the black women. I know being a woman is the hardest thing that we do. Being a black woman is the toughest thing I have to go thru I am constantly being judged Belittled Told I am not enough Feeling like I can never do anything The world hates my skin But loves what’s between my legs The world doesn’t care about my heart But loves our type of cooking I am always fighting with demons Telling me that I am ugly My hair is nappy I’m fat My dreams won’t manifest That I am a failure That I am weak We fight with ourselves so much that we can’t hear the good talking to us Those little voices telling us we can do it If we push a little more we can make it We fight depression Self love Self worth They say we are suppose to look a certain way to be accepted Which is?? Why can’t my afro look like a tree? Why do I have to shave my armpits? Why do I have to talk a certain way? It’s so hard to be a woman It’s even harder to be a black woman For me, I fight that I will be enough I fight with my own self love I fight that I become successful enough where I don’t have to live check to check I want to stop telling myself I want make it to corporate because I am a woman I won’t make it because I am a black woman I fight with telling myself I am not strong enough for this world My skin isn’t thick enough My vocabulary isn’t big enough My voice isn’t going to be heard I beat myself up that I didn’t get my degrees sooner That I should have waited to get married That I should have been heavier in church People need to understand mental stability is the number killer for woman Women are at least twice as likely to experience an episode of major depression as men, Richards reports. And, compared to their Caucasian counterparts, African-American women are only half as likely to seek help. We have a million things to think about everyday Kids Groceries Money Home Car Doctor appts The world isn’t kind to us at all Men aren’t kind to us Women hate us because they want to be us I have cared for so many people in my life, I forgot to care about myself I have been fighting so many other people’s demon’s I forgot to fight my own I care about other people’s mental state that I forget my own I can’t remember the last time someone asked me how am I truly doing I forgot how to truly smile for myself when I been smiling for other people for so long Every week I ask myself, how am I feeling today? I need to check my own self from time to time I need to make sure I am okay I want to smile and not feel pain Remember, we fight battles no one ones about, every minute of everyday. DiaryofDom

Effort

Everything you do you should be putting effort in Why wouldn’t you? Don’t you put effort into your job? Finances? Friendships? Relationships? When you want something to be great, we put effort into it. When I want to try a new recipe then I make sure I put effort into it so it tastes good. I got a new job title and I make sure I put my best effort into it so I do a great job I got new shoes and I put effort into keeping them clean We are not going to get very far without putting effort into our lives I like to have people in my life who put effort into the things in their life A new hobby? New business plan? You met a new friend that you think the friendship can grow? Put effort into it! New boo? Effort into that! When you sit around and not investing into anything you will get lazy Comfortable Complacent Fight against routine Make goals and beat those I would love to see more relationships make it They don’t because it’s usually someone who doesn’t put enough effort into it. I would love to see more businesses make it but again they don’t put that extra effort into it Many friendships don’t last because the effort wasn’t there to help save it. Many people give up on that thing that drives them and they become miserable Are you one of those people? When you fall in love you make time for that person You spend money on dates Lose sleep staying up all night talking to that person Make plans to see that person That’s putting in effort right? Doesn’t take much to put in that effort, just a little push Call him or her Go on that long over due date Tell them you love them Buy that gift Cook him his favorite meal Tell that boss you want a raise Upgrade your car Rub her feet after she gets off work Take up that piano lesson Don’t get lazy It’s really the worst thing you can do. Put in that effort before it becomes too late DiaryofDom

Consistent

adjective: agreeing or accordant; compatible; not self-contradictory: His views and actions are consistent. constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: a consistent opponent. holding firmly together; cohering. Nothing in life is consistent. I wish it was. Really I wish. Jobs are not consistent Cars Friends Relationships I am a type of person who doesn’t like change. Unless I change them myself I have a hard time when I can’t have a control over things When things change I really try my hardest to understand that I like to know why its changing Is it for the better? I had a friend tell me she is involved with this man, everything was going good Showing her attention, giving her his time, loyalty, and affection Then slowly things changed He doesn’t hold her hand much anymore He’s not telling her how beautiful she is He doesn’t take her on dates He doesn’t buy her gifts She even told him things are different He don’t see Or don’t care Things like that happen but it shouldn’t stay like that He should change for the better I understand life happens but things like that I have a hard time understanding I know I try not to change I like to still hold hands I like to cook for my mate I still like to dress up and look sexy for dates I understand people change, but again, you should be changing for the better I understand that chemistry changes, the affection changes, and ideas change But acting like nothing happened is unbelievable. When you first getting to know someone, you make time for them, you plan dates You have to work but when you get off you visit that person, if you don’t you call them When you date that person you want to do things with them all the time Why does that end up changing? I would want those things to get better, call me all the time, spend time with me, let’s go on better dates I want to stay up all night talking on the phone, tell me how beautiful I am. Life is never consistent but relationships should be, am I wrong? Since I have been doing tons of networking, I have been asked to give my opinion on this I wanted to write about how this happens and why To be honest, I have no freaking idea why! This is why I have had two husbands, because of the inconsistency. Women only follow what men do. The only thing I can say is, men, if you don’t want us to change then you don’t change. DiaryofDom

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