Self discovery
AWKWARD STAGE

AWKWARD STAGE

He met me in a awkward stage in my life
Getting a divorce
Living on my own
Finding out who I am
Am I Dom
Am I Nikki
Or am I Dominique?

I am in a awkward stage
I am learning my likes, dislikes
What I like to eat
What I like to do for fun
How I want to dress
Who I want to associate myself with
When it was okay to say yes and when I should say no
What’s my type?
What SHOULDN’T be my type
I had to ask myself was I ready to have sex again

He met me when I didn’t know these things
I didn’t know if I WANTED to start dating
Let alone know what that really was
I didn’t know if I just wanted hookups
Someone to take me out
Someone to tell me I’m pretty and rub my booty

What I KNOW I needed was a friend
I needed someone to listen
I needed positive energy
I needed those hugs
To rub my back
To kiss my forehead
Call me babygirl
AND from time to time rub my booty

When he met me I was still healing
Fighting my demons
Fighting this LACK of self-esteem

I told him I had a cold heart
I showed him I did
I blocked out love
Felt like I DIDN’T NEED it
Didn’t want it
He seen the broken little girl that hides inside
I let him see her
I still closed up

I am in a awkward stage in my life where I am still learning life
I am learning who I am and what I like

This awkward stage in my life where I am learning to enjoy MY OWN company
Also, i miss company of others

When met him I wasn’t supposed to like him
Wasn’t supposed to enjoy his company
Wasn’t supposed to crave his touch
I wanted to be COLD, to prove that I didn’t need it

This awkward stage in my life, I WAS lying to myself
I don’t want you to fix me, I want you by my side while I fix myself.

DiaryofDom

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