What is wrong with you sweetie?

I hear that a lot I ask myself that question often What is wrong with you? Is there something wrong with me? In my mind? In my heart? In my soul? I ask this to myself a lot because it’s hard for others to understand me What is wrong with me? He asked me that I stopped and just looked My heart stopped, just for a second I thought I would scream I thought I would cry I wanted to hit something I hear that a lot What is wrong with you? I ask myself that often I get asked that often Is something wrong? I have a big heart I care too much I want too much I wish I didn’t but I can’t help it Is something wrong with me? There is For dealing with you For letting you disrespect me For allowing you to use me For allowing myself not to be loved correctly For allowing my time to get wasted on trying to change you I thought I could change your mind I thought I could love you hard enough I thought I could give you time I thought I could What is wrong with you sweetie?? He yelled this to me Now, I am asking myself that very question 1 Corinthians Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, is not proud It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. What is wrong with you sweetie?? If you think something is wrong with me then you have to ask yourself what is wrong with you since you deal with me So I ask you, baby, what is wrong with you? What is broken with you? DiaryofDom

Open

Open minded Open communication I am learning Patience Understanding You will get frustrated, that I understand Open up to me, tell me what’s in your heart, tell me what you want me to do Open your hands With those broken wounds, I want to be the one to heal them correctly Kiss these tears and wipe these fears Open up for me Open the sky, show me the stars, let me see the sun I place my head on your shoulder, soft kisses I feel on my forehead Your warm hand holds mine, you tell me let my guard down Open up, you whisper to me I give you my broken bleeding heart, in your hands You stare at it I wait I can’t read the look on your face You open your mouth I stare at your lips, waiting You look up, eyes searching my face I open my soul so you can see, hear, taste My heart is beating in your warm hand Like a sweet melody you heard as a child I want to open, so you can see me I want to share I want to let you in My heart I open myself Pour myself on you like a hot shower Those kisses washes all my sins I open up, now, tomorrow, later? I open for you I open for you I open for you The words I keep saying in my heart which you are holding, in my soul which I have exposed. DiaryofDom

Energy

Energy Feed my energy Feed my soul Feed my mind Feed my body Take some of me and put into you Take my source and add to yours Feel the heat from my body and let it flow into yours Touch me with your core Come on baby, let it pour Our souls become one I feed into you and you into me We just tried it to see Feed my mind Feed my heart You dance, I dance I smile, you smile Let’s go that extra mile Your energy gives me a high I can’t describe Touching the clouds Kissing the sun How we blend together so well I like how you can tell I need a boost How I need a shot of your juice I need a shot of your love Your smile Your hugs Your forehead kisses Your energy keeps feeling me high Keeps me happy Keeps me calm Damn, why am I so sappy? Keeps me grounded Your energy keeps me resounded I can’t believe I found it Your energy is pure gold Can never be sold Your energy is like coffee in the morning to a addict Your energy is a voice in my ear saying, You can take me, you can have it. Your energy is like dirty words in my ear My body is excited My skin becomes hot Your energy turns me on My heart is in a knot I can’t start my day without your energy, without your warmth Without your reassuring words Without your touch I can’t believe you got my head slurred I want my positive energy to fuel your soul like water to a thirsty man Like breast milk to a newborn Like the warm sun on my face I want our energy to be soulmates Together forever, needing each other feeding each other DiaryofDom

AWKWARD STAGE

He met me in a awkward stage in my life Getting a divorce Living on my own Finding out who I am Am I Dom Am I Nikki Or am I Dominique? I am in a awkward stage I am learning my likes, dislikes What I like to eat What I like to do for fun How I want to dress Who I want to associate myself with When it was okay to say yes and when I should say no What’s my type? What SHOULDN’T be my type I had to ask myself was I ready to have sex again He met me when I didn’t know these things I didn’t know if I WANTED to start dating Let alone know what that really was I didn’t know if I just wanted hookups Someone to take me out Someone to tell me I’m pretty and rub my booty What I KNOW I needed was a friend I needed someone to listen I needed positive energy I needed those hugs To rub my back To kiss my forehead Call me babygirl AND from time to time rub my booty When he met me I was still healing Fighting my demons Fighting this LACK of self-esteem I told him I had a cold heart I showed him I did I blocked out love Felt like I DIDN’T NEED it Didn’t want it He seen the broken little girl that hides inside I let him see her I still closed up I am in a awkward stage in my life where I am still learning life I am learning who I am and what I like This awkward stage in my life where I am learning to enjoy MY OWN company Also, i miss company of others When met him I wasn’t supposed to like him Wasn’t supposed to enjoy his company Wasn’t supposed to crave his touch I wanted to be COLD, to prove that I didn’t need it This awkward stage in my life, I WAS lying to myself I don’t want you to fix me, I want you by my side while I fix myself. DiaryofDom

Beat my face

NOUN: cosmetics such as lipstick or powder applied to the face, used to enhance or alter the appearance She wears it to hide herself She wears it to transform herself She wears it to make herself feel better It is her security blanket Not too much not too little Just enough to get you to look To stare in awe To speak to me She beats her face Makeup makes her feel sexy Like she can have anyone she wants She can make anyone look at her People see the gold around her eyes, which makes them look inviting They are saying: become my friend My lover My confidant She wears it confidently She wears it as a sex symblel She knows who will look, who will stare who will want to talk to her She knows how her eyes will keep them locked in How her lips will look tasty How her cheeks will look warm and soft But her insecurities will be hidden behind her makeup Her makeup will hide her hurt behind her eyes Her makeup will hide how life has torn her down The disappointment she went through Her makeup will hide how she wakes up every day, puts a smile on her face Tells herself she will be okay If you look hard enough you will see the story she is telling She wants her makeup to say she is sexy She is a badass She is fearless She has confidence SHe oozes sex appeal Her makeup is her superpower Her makeup transformers her into the woman she wishes to be Her makeup goes with her mood With her clothes Her makeup goes well with her jewelry She knows they go hand in hand Her eyes Her lips Her cheeks Her attitude They work as a team Showing you what she wants you to see Can you see it? Soft not aggressive Quiet but speaks volumes She never over does it Oh no, never too much Just enough so you see her DiaryofDom

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