Friendship: Part One

“Friendships are relationships that involve two very critical dimensions – interdependence and voluntary participation,” explains Northern Illinois University psychologist and friendship expert Dr. Suzanne Degges-White
Studies have shown that having friends can actually prolong your life. KLAUS VEDFELT

Growing up friendship has been always easy for me, I would just start talking to a person
Boom friendship
Doesn’t matter if we had a friendship.
I am in my 30’s now, and I don’t know a thing about friendship.
It’s so much easier in high school.

So many factors that play apart into have a friend:
Goal oriented
Relationship stats
If you have a family

When I had my first divorce I had friends drop like flies, they are all still married, they told me they couldn’t stay friends with someone who isn’t married anymore.
When I got remarried my single friends didn’t understand, and the old married friends still didn’t want anything to do with me.

I couldn’t win.
I needed friends that would love me for when I was single or married.
I have been told I am too playful, too serious, too religious, not religious enough, too needy, too fat, not fat enough, not black enough, and my personal favorite, I think I’m better than other people.
Right in the crotch
I am a people pleaser, I can adapt to personalities and people vibes very easily.
I can be a bit outgoing but I know when to listen and be still.
I always valued how well of a friend I am, I remember bdays, anniversaries, kids bdays, make sure I always answer text less than 5 mins, answer calls, make time for hanging out.
Giving gifts
Having a listening ear
Giving advice
Praying with you or for you
I have always been proud of my ability to be a great friend
Sadly, I have not had that in return.
I want a love in my friendship where they need me as much as I need them.
You are a part of my family as much as I am a part of theirs.
Our kids are friends
Our men are friends
Our neighbors know you
We have keys to our places
Our disagreements are healthy conversations
We make goals in our friendships
If one of us come up we all come up

I always wanted a friendship when they couldn’t wait to talk to me next time.


I love people and I think it’s very closed minded if you only have one have gender of race for a friendships
I have always thought it was weird to have all girl friends, they might be able to help with every issue in life, but it’s something about keeping a man in your life.

Having all men as your friends doesn’t have all the perks as well. There are tons I would need the ladies for.

Both genders have uses for friendships.
Do you have all women friends or men?

I have a second part to this, sit tight.





These are only a few of the common addictions. We know they are so many more.
I was told by someone we all have one.
Different addictions:
Behavioral Addictions
Video games
The need to flirt

Chemical addiction:

I do believe we all have something that helps us to stay grounded, for example I have coffee and wine, could I abuse them, absolutely.
Have I?
Absolutely not.
You have to know when it is too much. If you can’t hear that voice in your head saying stop then you need to ask for help, and that’s okay.
I think I have an addiction, it might seem silly to others but for me it’s very much real.
I want affection, respect, and that lust feeling I had shared in my post.
I want someone to want me so bad they can’t think straight, they wake up with me on their mind, they go to sleep trying to picture what I am doing at that moment.
I want someone to crave my touch, my scent, my voice.
I will take a nap in the middle of the day because I need to hear and feel that in my dreams.
When I get my addiction met, I will find another Im sure.
It might be the need to drink water or making sure I put on makeup every time I need to go to the store.
Or it could be the need to please everyone.
Or only eating green veggies.
I guess we all do have some type of addiction, I know mine, what about you?


Doesn’t define Me

This time in my life is so hard
I am struggling with my mental health
I pray, I fast, I been having a lot of alone time with my thoughts

I been struggling with opening up to people
When you look at me I look “normal” but I am not
Far from it.
I have my own demons I struggle with everyday.
I battle self esteem, the lack of affection, my religion, my emotions
My fears, my hopes and dreams.

This lockdown has shown me my mental state.
I have been crying more, angry, fighting depression, staying in bed most of the day, up all night.
I find myself hating the day, or waking up loving it.
I find myself hating the way I look or putting on something sexy.
I either take a walk or take a shower crying.

I either call a friend or a former lover
I want to call my pastor but I don’t know what to say.
I spend time with my kids but then I want to be left alone.
They fight because they can’t go to the movies, to the mall, or even the store.
Im then mad because they are mad.

Then I get mad again because I think about how my love life have turned out, so then I take it out on everyone around me
I become mean to my kids
Distant to my roommates
Screen my calls

Writing out my feelings and connecting to my readers makes me feel more grounded
I still pray, I try everyday to open up to more people.

I try not to be so hard on myself, I am human, I bleed, I get weak
I am telling myself my mental state doesn’t define me today.



You’re a good girl, you’re a good fuckin’ girl
You’re such a good fuckin’ girl, I like the look of her girl, good fuckin’ girl

I get so lonely, I forget what I’m worth.
We get so lonely, we pretend that this works
I’m sorry I’m not more attractive
I’m sorry I’m not more ladylike
I’m sorry I don’t shave my legs at night
I’m sorry I’m not your baby mama
I’m sorry you got karma comin’ to you
I don’t see myself
Why I can’t stay alone just by myself?
Wish I was comfortable just with myself

You treat a girl real good that’s probably why I always come.

Fall on your faith like your faith for religion
The light in the way, you’re begging for forgiveness
Lost summers here as we both bathe in sweet sin
Leave it to me, I’ll give you something to believe in
(Kiss me) surrender (kiss me) to friction (kiss me)
This is body language (kiss me) and deep diction (kiss me)
I love it (kiss me), beg for it (kiss me), yeah, yeah, yeah

Tell me what you want
I will do it all the way
Make you scream my name
I, I keep it nice and tight
Boy, relax and let me ride
Do the things we like.


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Platonic Love

Platonic love takes its name from the famous Classical Greek philosopher, Plato (428/427 or 424/423 – 348/347 BC).

Plato wrote about love in his work, the Symposium, a dialogue where the guests of a banquet each gave speeches in honor of the god Eros and debated the true meaning of love.

4 Characteristics Of Platonic Love: A Relationship Of A Different Kind

Relationships are a funny thing.
They can be heartbreaking.
They can be heartwarming.
Soul sucking
But also a blessing.

Relationships are beautiful
They can be scary
They can be overwhelming
But also life learning.

I have had very few intimate relationships but the ones I have had are life learning, heartbreaking, but beautiful. Each one of my relationships have truly brought me something. I loved each one of them before I even knew why.

Relationships can be lovers, boyfriends, girlfriends, pets, parents, coworkers, siblings. It is whatever you want it to be.
My friendships have always been more complex, never too close but not too far so you can’t depend on me. It’s always been a little mystery with it.

Relationships have never been my strong suit. I have always sucked at them, in marriage, as a lover, friendships, even with siblings. I fall short most times, I have been working hard at them but some of them I still can’t get right, and that’s okay.

I am learning in relationships, it’s my fault, I’m the problem and I will work on it, not now, but I will.
I am building more relationships.
I want to build more relationships with people, because they will see the light I have within, so they can say our relationship is a funny thing, beautiful, scary, but heartwarming.


Photo by Jasmine Wallace Carter on